Mama Madonna turns 50


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4/30 Jonathon “I need a haircut and contacts” Franzen

Time out goes to Jonny for calling Michiko Kakutani the ‘stupidest person in New York City’ during a panel at Harhvardh the other day.  Let’s take a look at their bios pulled from Wikipedia and see who is stupider…shall we?

Franzen was born in Chicago, Illinois, raised in Webster Groves, a suburb of St. Louis, Missouri, and educated at Swarthmore College. He also studied on a Fulbright Scholarship in Germany.

The only child of noted Yale mathematician Shizuo Kakutani, Michiko Kakutani was born in New Haven, Connecticut. She received her B.A. in English literature from Yale University in 1976.[1] After graduation she initially worked as a reporter for The Washington Post, and then for TIME magazine from 1977-1979. In 1979, she joined The New York Times as a reporter.  She is a Pulitzer Prize winning critic for the New York Times.

Sorry Jon.  The mere fact that Michiko learned to spell her name properly as a young child points to the fact that she is no idiot.

Maybe next time you can write a book people actually want to read (preferably not about yourself–hmm?) and she’ll give you a good review.

But probably not.

New York Times critic Michiko Kakutani.VSJonathan Franzen

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Anyone who married James Taylor is a friend of mine

Apparently some genius put their dope down and decided to write a biography about Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon, and Carole King.  Do I consider this literature?  NO.  Do I consider this an advancement of society and culture?  Absolutely. 

I mean all I know of poor Joni’s existence now is from that ridiculous article the Times did a year or so ago about how she is currently choreographing ballets or something equally as absurd.

I believe the book title and jacket say it all—GIRLS LIKE US.  Yes, just like Senator Obama these ladies have had trouble relatin’ to the common folk.  Maybe they should try eating waffles at a greasy diner…

Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon--And the Journey of a Generation

I have included the Amazon link for all you instant gratificationers.

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So last night I was walking to the PATH station after work (aka Port Authority Trans Hudson or Pleasant As Train Hell) and I saw a man smoking a pipe.  Please bear in mind that this was the west village and not 18th century London.

This got me thinking that if you are going to smoke you might as well get throat, mouth, lip AND lung cancer.  Why just stop at one?

If I smoked cigarettes I would definitely roll my own.  And note to all the fellows out there–this is THE hottest thing you can do other than look like Brad, Matthew or George.  However, I prefer my cancer in the forms of UV rays, aspertame, and burnt toast.

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“As the Wright speaks out, new problems for Obama?”–NYT


Is the venerable NYT now the Post??  Granted this is in “The Caucus” political blog section and not the front page of the newspaper but still.  Come on Timesy are we really going to start with the puns and play on words so that middle class American will buy our paper?  If so then I am going to relegate you to the laundry room floor to sop up the mud on my dog’s paws when he comes in from the rain.

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Naked CHICKS in Times Square

Ok so this happened last week but I didn’t have a blog then SO the naked PETA ladies showering showering in Times Square definitely need to be mentioned now…

I mean this may be a nice idea to “expose” green thinking to the masses (kill me, I know) but what in God’s name were they thinking.  They aren’t even that hot.

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4/28 Miley “Don’t drop the sheet” Cyrus

Today’s “I think you need a time out” goes to……MILEY CYRUS.  I mean obvi.  I would love to have Annie L. take my snap shot half clothed too–don’t get me wrong–but I also don’t have my own mega empire through the Disney channel nor am I 15 years old.  Yes, Miley, I see the artistic value in what you did OF COURSE I DO.  But would I have when I was in middle school??  NOPE.  Therein lies the problem.

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